As
we approach the 2 year anniversary of returning to Poland to get J, I am
overcome with emotions. J has come such a long way since that first time we met
her. This shy child who did not speak a word and would not do anything, but lay
in my arms is no longer recognizable. While I am extremely proud and happy for
her to be enjoying life, I can’t help but be selfish in feeling like it is all
going too fast! The little girl who wouldn’t walk without one of us
holding her is now wanting to do everything herself. The one who didn’t speak a
sound is now talking like a mini teenager (attitude and all). She has decided
that from now on she will tell me what clothes she does and doesn’t like. She will eat only what she feels is good for
her, which luckily is the Polish traditional things like beets, cabbage,
pierogi, and we can’t forget her favorite paczki. We laugh because she is not
your typical child who wants hot dogs, grilled cheese, or mac & cheese…..
No, this little girl wants steak, meatballs, and the polish items listed above.
Not only has she grown physically and mentally, but she has grown in her curiosity of asking questions. Like out of the blue one day she asked me if I remember picking her up from the baby store (we still have no idea where she came up with that). When I replied yes and asked her if she remembered she said yes. It was loud there and she’s glad she’s home with us. I always knew she remembered some of it because I am friends on Facebook with a family who adopted from her orphanage and she can recite the name of the three little girls adopted by them. It made me start to think about her siblings that are out there somewhere and how I pray that one day she can find them. Until then I will hold on to all the information I have so she will at least having a starting point. I also think about her guardian, while I thought she disliked us in the beginning, we found it to be the exact opposite. She was such a caring soul and hope that the information we send back every one in a while finds her! She would be so proud of our big girl who, knows all her letters, can count to 20 (10 in polish), rides a big girl bike, loves to swim under water, and just loves being with the family. My absolute favorite thing is to watch her with our parents, grandparents, nieces, and nephews. The pure sound of joy that comes from her laughter will forever warm my heart. The love we all have for this little girl is immeasurable and I feel as though she feels the same about us.
The
other thing that hit me hard, was being at our friends’ daughter’s 1st
birthday this weekend. Now before I say this, I want people to know J’s orphanage
was absolutely wonderful and I believe she was loved and cared for. However, it
just isn’t the same as a true family. J
was sitting on my lap as L smashed her cake. You could see the look in her eye
like, what is that all about. J even asked if she could do that (her bday party
is in several weeks). I think I may, just because she never had the chance. It
was also interesting to see her play with all the baby toys she never had a
chance to see. It made me realize how much she missed out on the first couple
years of her life and how I want to make sure she never has to miss out on
anything else.
In
the end, I can’t imagine life without her and I need to hold on to every second
because I am going to blink and she will be off to college. I need every minute
to slow down just so I can hold onto it.
